Workshop Draft R

If the author intended for essay R to be a draft, it should, at the very least, give a rough outline of what they intend to cover. Drafts should give the writer a canvas upon which to show a level of organized thought after they have brainstormed and narrowed their focus. Its purpose should be deliberate; the writer should have clear intentions of telling their audience something about the topic. While in a draft it doesn’t have to be fully developed, the skeletal frame of a paper should appear. A thesis should be evident to state what the writer intends to examine and how they will go about doing it. Without knowing what the author wants to communicate to his audience, one cannot give constructive comments about how to improve the paper or even what to be looking for when reading it. For this essay in particular, the writer seems to want to target those casual fans of wrestling but overwhelms them with too many detail about too many things.

A suggestion I would make to this writer is to narrow their focus. They mention interesting topics such as women wrestlers breaking ground in the professional wrestling field and how wrestling is more of a show in present day. However, they seem to just to spitting out everything they know, with unnecessary details that deviate from their points. They should take some time to rethink how some points fit together well, like the business and show aspects of wrestling. They should also improve their comparison points for wrestling in the 1980s and present day by incorporating more supporting evidence that should be easily found, for instance, in the magazines that the writer points out are published. The most helpful point that I could suggest is to develop a thesis to help organize their thoughts. After writing a thesis, I for one, can focus on what I intend to discuss. The content of the paper is the most significant; in drafts, grammatical mistakes are acceptable and easily corrected once the paper has been laid out.